Walked to Nan's without headphones because I'd left them charging, and the canal path felt oddly wider without somebody else's soundtrack filling it. Cold fingers at first, then I got warm enough to undo my coat and carry it like an idiot rather than stop and put it in the bag. By the time I reached her flat I was properly hungry. She'd made toast and I could feel my hands warming round the mug while she told me about the lift being out again. Normally I arrive tired and stay tired on her settee. Today my legs wanted a stretch but the rest of me felt awake. Ate the second slice before she could ask.

My ex recommended a film to me and I instantly thought, you never listened when I was trying to get you to watch that one. Very mature response to a friendly message. Then we exchanged two fairly funny texts and it was almost like before, which was worse in a different way. There's nobody to be properly furious with when a relationship ends politely. I miss having somebody who gets the small jokes without six lines of explanation; I don't miss pretending it didn't matter when we wanted entirely different evenings. Left his last message unanswered while I worked. Still haven't decided if that's busy or petty.

A woman came out of classics night saying she hated the ending but couldn't stop thinking about it. I've been trying to decide whether that's a successful recommendation, because she bought a ticket on the strength of something I'd written. At university we'd have spent an hour making the question less understandable. At the bar I mostly said yes, I know what you mean, which I did. A film doesn't have to leave you happy, but I don't want to become someone who calls boredom a test the audience failed. I keep choosing next month's programme and hearing her voice. She said she'd come back, anyway. No pressure then.