herself in sligo asked if i was coming over because i wanted to see her or because i had nothing else on and i did my usual joke about the exciting social calendar of carrick. she didnt laugh which was fair enough because it wasnt an answer. felt a bit cornered then a bit delighted that she wanted a proper answer at all, all very mature behaviour from a man who can apparently discuss database migrations without hiding behind the car keys. told her i wanted to see her and she said good. that was it. spent the drive home replaying the good like it contained several paragraphs i could access with the right password

had an idea for another app while the one ive been making for months is still mostly a landing page and a very optimistic discord thread. wrote the new idea down and immediately started picking a name which is of course the bit that requires absolutely no finishing anything. trying to work out the smallest thing the old one could actually do for somebody, not the feature list i keep adding so i can call it ambitious instead of late. one lad said hed use it if it did the boring bit reliably. mildly offensive to my vision but possibly the only useful feedback ive had, including my own. no new logo tonight anyway, already have three

went to five a side after spending the day folded over the desk and the first run across the pitch felt like my lungs had been given a surprise meeting invite, absolutely brutal for about three minutes then grand enough. legs knew what they were doing more than the rest of me did, shirt sticking to my back and actual air on my face instead of the fan beside the monitor. sitting afterwards i could feel my heartbeat without immediately thinking about work which was a novelty. got home starving and ate the dinner ma had left before opening the laptop, then stayed in the kitchen because getting up again sounded like a separate sport