I caught myself saying I completely understand to my sister when I absolutely did not understand what she was upset about. Call-center autopilot followed me into our kitchen, embarrassing. At work I can sound calm while my brain is searching for the actual problem, but at home she heard the ready-made answer immediately and said ate, listen first. Since then I've been noticing which phrases are mine and which ones I borrow for eight hours every night. It's not even only the accent. I start arranging a response before the other person finishes. My sister wasn't asking me to fix anything, she wanted to complain about a friend, which should honestly be my easiest subject.

My boyfriend waited after his shift just to have breakfast with me, and I was touched until he started scrolling while I was telling him about my day. Then tampo agad, like those twenty minutes of waiting didn't count anymore. I know he was tired too, we both were. Still, I wanted him to look at me without me having to ask, which is probably not a very fair secret rule. I went quiet and he noticed, put the phone away, asked me to continue. By then I'd forgotten the funny part of the story. We ended up laughing at that instead, but I still felt a little sad that we have to squeeze being together into the hours when we're barely awake.

Got home from shift and Papa had already made breakfast, so instead of going straight to my room I sat with him while the rice was still hot. My ears were sore from the headset and I could still feel the band on top of my head even though it was in my bag. After eating I got so sleepy I was answering him with my eyes closed, very respectful daughter behavior haha. But once I lay down, a tricycle outside sounded EXTRA loud and my body decided we were available for another hour. I wasn't thinking about anything important, just hot feet, cool pillow, blanket on then off. Pagod na, but apparently being tired and being asleep are separate departments.