woke up convinced it was morning because i was starving, checked the time and it was almost dinner. elite internal clock, no notes. mom had leftovers warming and i ate standing in the kitchen until i realized how fast i was going, like somebody had given me a timed food challenge. sat down for the rest and my whole body got heavy in a good way, shoulders dropping, feet flat on the floor instead of moving to the next thing. i wasnt even sleepy anymore, just warm and full. the fridge was humming and i could hear my stepdad in the other room. stayed there doing nothing for a bit, which at home somehow feels more like rest than lying in bed with a screen above my face.

i keep looking up jobs related to computers because i built one and people remember that, but the class i actually want to finish the reading for is psychology. apparently this is inconvenient information. liking one class doesnt mean i need to announce a career or transfer tomorrow, i know, except every search turns into four years of tuition and me deciding its impossible at 3am. i wrote down the next course instead and checked whether it fits around work. that is a decision i can understand. still need to talk to the college adviser, which ive been avoiding because i thought i needed a plan before going. pretty sure helping with that is literally their job.

one of the guys in the online crew stayed in voice chat after everyone left and asked how my classes were going. not the usual did you escape the warehouse yet joke, he actually waited for an answer. i told him about the psychology class and ended up talking way longer than i meant to. felt pretty good until i noticed how much id said and tried to make it sound less serious. he just said it sounded interesting. no big inspirational speech, which i appreciated. afterwards i wanted to tell mom the same stuff but she was asleep. might do it when shes up instead of waiting till she asks if ive figured out my entire life, a slightly harder question.