I'm trying to work out why a free Saturday makes me start a list of jobs within fifteen minutes. My partner suggested we leave the house without a destination and I immediately asked what time we needed to be back. We didn't need to be back. The cat has food, there isn't an event, the towels can remain unfolded without affecting anyone's dinner. I can understand all that and still picture the day disappearing unless we assign it something. Maybe choosing a neighbourhood to wander is enough structure. I've already looked up three bakeries there, so apparently my version of aimless includes a short vendor list.

Mom volunteered me to bring food to a family gathering and called it something easy. I got mad before I even heard how many people, because easy always seems to mean easy for the person asking. She sounded hurt when I said I wanted to come as a guest. That took most of the satisfaction out of saying it. I love feeding my family, which makes this harder to explain than if I hated every minute. Now I'm worried everybody will be awkward around the store-bought trays, and also annoyed that I'm already thinking about the trays. I said I'd bring dessert. One dessert, bought somewhere, receipt available if necessary.

Took the long walk with my partner and noticed how differently my feet behave in shoes that haven't spent twelve hours on a rental kitchen floor. The first few blocks were stiff under the heels, then my stride opened up and I stopped scanning ahead for somewhere to sit. We split a pastry standing beside a little wall, which is technically another meal on my feet, but nobody was waiting for me to carry anything. My shoulders stayed down without reminders. Back home the cat wanted my lap before I'd removed my jacket, and for once sitting still felt good immediately, not like a delayed discovery of every sore part.