my sister watched the new edit and sent back a voice message actually yelling about one of the clips. i played it again with the volume lower because dad was in the next room and i didnt want him making a whole thing of it. felt sick in a good way, like she still knows what im trying to do even when shes not here seeing the failed attempts. then she started telling me about people at college and i got quiet because i didnt know any of them. wasnt mad, just hard to picture her whole day without the house in it. sent her a video of gus doing nothing because she used to send those to me from upstairs. she replied immediately, which was cool.

been editing the same few seconds because the landing looks better from one angle but you cant see how far i actually went. if i use the other angle its more obvious, except my arm does this dumb windmill thing. the guys say use the clean looking one, nobody cares about my personal documentary standards. i kind of care though, not in a deep way, i just know what the trick felt like and the clip doesnt show that yet. changing the cut by half a second makes it look like i had way more speed. weird how easy that is. now ive watched it so many times neither version looks real and the song is permanently stuck in my head.

kept landing with my feet too close together today and could feel the board wobble before i even looked down. when i finally rolled away clean my whole body felt loose for about three seconds, then i started running my mouth and nearly hit a trash can. shins have a couple new marks but nothing serious, the usual board hitting the exact same place twice because apparently once didnt explain it. on the way home i was so hungry i ate the snacks id forgotten were in my bag, crushed beyond recognition, still fine. legs were buzzing when i sat on the kitchen floor with gus. mom asked why the floor and i didnt have a reason, just didnt want to get up yet.