Journals — ThePill.Me

loler Emotion

At a care home I visit regularly, one of the ladies remembered that my daughter had started preschool and wanted to know whether she liked it. I was ridiculously pleased she remembered, especially as our previous conversation had been conducted beside a temporarily unavailable lift with a manager hovering. She said she missed hearing the small details about children now that her grandchildren were grown. We talked while I finished my notes, and I left smiling. I often say my job is mostly driving and checking equipment, but some days it includes being asked a proper question by somebody who actually waits for the answer. Lovely visit, even with the terrible coffee.

benchscraper Body

Worked the dough by hand for part of the morning and noticed how much I was pressing with the heel of my palm instead of forcing everything through the fingers. My right wrist was touchy after the long prep yesterday, so I kept stopping to change position rather than pretending one more batch would be the last. The dough felt cool at first and softer as I worked, a useful thing to pay attention to when the room was getting hot. By eleven my arms were tired but I could still open my hand without that sharp catch. At home I ate sitting down, the brace waiting for tonight, and let the boy slice his own bread. He is sixteen. The loaf survived.

wahalafree Body

Got home from the Island with that headache sitting right above my eyes, the one that makes even my sister asking what I want to eat sound too loud. I had spent the last meeting squinting at a shared screen because the numbers were tiny, then kept reading campaign messages in traffic. My shoulders were up so high I only noticed when I took my bag off. I lay down without my phone for a bit and the tightness eased, but I could still feel it when I turned my head. Nothing dramatic, just enough to make washing my hair seem like a major project. Changed into a loose shirt and ate what my sister had already cooked. No decision-making capacity left, abeg.

ensoute Mind

Je regarde le pigeon bleu tourner avant de rentrer et je me demande chaque fois ce qu'il reconnaît du quartier. Moi je peux rater une sortie sur une route avec trois panneaux, lui il retrouve le jardin sans qu'on lui ait expliqué le chemin. J'ai lu des trucs là-dessus, le soleil, les odeurs, le paysage, tout le monde a une explication et aucune ne me permet de me mettre dans sa tête. Les petits disent qu'il reconnaît ma voix, ce qui me ferait plaisir mais n'explique pas comment il arrive jusque chez nous. Aujourd'hui il a fait deux tours de plus pendant que les autres mangeaient déjà. Peut-être qu'il avait simplement pas envie de rentrer. Ça, je saurais comprendre.

وين_التراك Mind

طلب أبي أن أطبع تأكيد موعده مع أنني أرسلته إلى هاتفه. كنت سأشرح له مرة أخرى أن الصورة تكفي، ثم تذكرت أنه كلما بحث عنها فتح محادثة غير التي أرسلت فيها الورقة. بالنسبة لي المكان واضح لأنني أنا التي رتبت الرسائل، أما هو فيرى صوراً وأسماء كثيرة. طبعته له، لكنني أفكر أيضاً في وضع المواعيد في مكان واحد يسهل عليه الوصول إليه، لا أن أقول له كل مرة موجود عندك وخلاص. لا يريد أن يعتمد عليّ في كل تفصيل، وأنا أريد الشيء نفسه، لكن شرحي السريع لا يساعد. سأجلس معه عندما لا أكون مستعجلة، وأتركه يفتح الموعد بنفسه. الورقة المطبوعة ستبقى معه على كل حال، أعرف أبي.

neckstrip Body

Tried on the shoes I wore to my daughter's wedding and my feet said absolutely not. Same feet, same shoes, just six hours standing at the salon before I got this bright idea. The left one went on fine until I stood up, then I could feel every little bone across the front. I stayed by the dresser a minute because they really do look good. Took them off. My calves still had those deep sock marks when I sat down to eat, and rubbing lotion in felt better than I expected, enough that I did the other leg properly instead of one quick swipe. I'm wearing the wide black pair to dinner. He'll be looking at my face, hopefully.

زيت_وغار Emotion

ابني بمونتريال فرجاني على الفيديو الرف اللي ركّبه ببيته، وصار يقرّب التلفون حتى شوف إذا مايل. ضحكت وقلت له ما فيني أحكم من طرابلس، مع إنّي ضلّيت دقّق بالصورة. انبسطت إنّه سألني بشغلة صغيرة، مش بس كيف الصحة وكيف الشغل. بعد المكالمة تمنّيت كون واقف حدّه وأمسك له الخشبة، وبعدين زعلت من حالي لأنّه كان مبسوط وأنا عم فتّش على الغايب. حكيت لمرتي عن الرف، قالت يمكن وقت نزوره يكون غيّر البيت كلّه. هي عم تمزح، بس أنا حسبت بقلبي من آخر مرّة قعدنا سوا بلا شاشة، وتركت الحسبة قبل ما خلّصها.

routefour Body

A cool morning, good for walking. I did most of my usual loop before the left knee got stiff, then shortened the last stretch rather than going round the school. It isn't the sharp trouble I had before the replacement, more like it doesn't want to bend as freely after a while. I sat on a low wall and had to push off with both hands to get going again. A fellow walking his dog asked if I was all right and I was, but I didn't care for looking like I needed checking on. By the time I got home I was moving better. Carol asked how far I'd gone. Told her the actual distance instead of rounding up to the usual three miles.

traceecrite Emotion

Un collègue a imité la façon de lire d'un élève en salle des profs et j'ai senti la colère monter avant qu'il ait fini sa phrase. J'ai dit qu'on pouvait peut-être le laisser tranquille pendant sa pause, même s'il était pas là. Ambiance. Le collègue m'a répondu qu'il fallait bien décompresser et depuis je rejoue l'échange en préparant des versions beaucoup plus brillantes de ma réponse. Ce qui me travaille, c'est aussi le silence des autres : je sais pas s'ils étaient gênés par lui ou par moi. Putain, j'aurais aimé qu'une seule personne dise quelque chose. Je tiens à ce que j'ai dit, mais demain j'ai pas spécialement envie de prendre mon café avec eux.

willcall Mind

I am comparing two maps that show different names for the same stretch of track. My first assumption was that one caption was wrong. The publication dates are several years apart, however, and the ownership may have changed between them. I need the contemporary timetable before I correct my notes. This is a small detail in a section of my thesis that almost nobody has read. I still want to settle it. I have written the question on a separate sheet so that I do not spend another evening searching without a clear purpose. The sheet is now inside the older map. That is where I will begin next time.